Ashe Purscell is an AFS volunteer and host parent currently living in Des Moines, Iowa. She and her husband Dan are hosting Tooba from Pakistan, a Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange & Study (YES) student, who has had a profound impact on their lives as they carry on a 50-year legacy of hosting in their family. Being in their mid-20s, Ashe and her husband are experiencing a new side of the exchange journey as first-time host parents.
“After my grandfather’s passing in January of 2024, I have been doing a lot of introspective reflection on AFS and what the exchange year has meant to my family.
My family has hosted 38 students (a large majority with AFS), with 19 being yearlong programs with AFS. My grandmother, Lynn Borke, was a very active [AFS volunteer] in Racine, WI and I have attempted to continue her legacy in Des Moines, IA. We are still in contact with a good number of students; including Paulina from Ecuador, who traveled up to the U.S. to help with end-of-life care for my grandfather.
Hosting is something that I knew I wanted to do since I was young. After my husband and I started to host [for the first time] this year, we were asked, “why do you host? Is it selfish?” I want to help someone experience the U.S, to see the U.S. in a different way and learn [about themself] – a canned answer that we thought held all meaning, but it only scratches the surface. I wanted to mimic my grandmother and her adventures after hearing about it for years. I wanted to help kids live their dreams and maybe learn something along the way – a meaningful answer, but still superficial.
Now, I’ve learned a layer about why I want to host. I want to host to learn about how to love others — to help them grow. Tooba, our Pakistani daughter, is such a selfless and wonderful person. Watching her grow into a young woman has been one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. And it is the most rewarding thing the three of us have done in our lives so far. You learn so much about yourself and what lengths you will go, communication styles and skills, coping mechanisms from other parts of the world, and I think you learn a lot about love. I host to learn how to love others in a way that they need —not always the way we need. I want to host in the hopes I can be a builder of confidence and independence in someone else. That is my ‘why.’
My biggest motivation in life is helping others and having fun along the way. Hosting is how I can do that. Is it still selfish? Sure is! If you aren’t doing things for yourself, you can’t be happy. Once you are happy you can share that with others. Happiness allows you to lift up others while on this grueling climb.
Tooba is special. We will miss her so much. Soulmates are connected across all timelines. I think our souls decided we could be together for just a little while, but can be sustainable half a world away. It’s like our souls are old friends.”
Your own family’s AFS story is waiting to be written – start the first chapter today and browse the profiles of this year’s incoming exchange students at afsusa.org/host.
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